The Church of Boobism has established a hierarchy for its members that establishes levels within the church. This hierarchy can also be translated to a “real-world” setting, should the world be invaded by several thousand aliens with fart pores on their heads or a plague of zombies that resemble Gilbert Gottfried. This system of advancement and placement is not one in which Boobists strive to donate enough time or money to be noticed and promoted. This system is based on knowledge, understanding, and practice of the principles of Boobism, as well as the continued effort of the individual Boobist to expand his or her knowledge and obtain a state that is as close to perfection as humanly possible. Boobs are not simply tools for entertainment. They are a source of life, knowledge, and strength. So should the Boobist be the same. A Boobist should always strive to be as godly as boobs, but must recognize that it will never be so.
The ranking system of the Church of Boobism is as follows:
Disciple:
The introductory level of Boobism in which the individual labels themselves a Boobist. No further action is needed to achieve this ranking, and Disciples are not required to study or advance themselves in any way. This is a simple acknowledgement of a love for boobs.
Disciple Level II:
Level II Disciples are Boobists that have made an effort to study and understand the teachings of Boobism. They are able to recite well-known stories and tales of Boobism, and have likely motor-boated several different types of boobs in their lifetime. Their understanding of the power of boobage is greater than the run of the mill Disciple.
Professor:
A Professor of Boobs is an individual that has studied the ways of the boob extensively and has an understanding that is greater than Disciples. Professors are able to recite many stories and tales of Boobism, and have the ability to teach introductory lessons of Boobism to non-followers. They are also able to vote on food to include in pot lucks.
Warrior:
Warriors of Boobs have risen above other Boobists and have established themselves as ever-faithful followers of the Church. A Warrior must have an expert understanding of Boobism and must act as a soldier in the event of an invasion of smelly Sasquatches. A Warrior must be equally comfortable wielding a shotgun or a large, wobbly set of knockers. This is the high-ranking muscle of the Church of Boobism, and one is not required to reach this ranking. After all, not everyone is a warrior.
Wizard:
A Wizard of Boobs is the educational counterpart of the Warrior rank. Wizards are in charge of recruitment, promotion, and the distribution of educational materials to the masses. This is also the propaganda wing of the Church. In the event of an emergency or mass-rape apocalypse (or rapeocalypse) Wizards of Boobism are in charge of maintaining contact with allies across the globe and rebuilding the Church, should the disaster leave the world in a state of dismal poop smears.
Champion:
A Champion of Boobs is the High Priest/Priestess of Boobism and is the top-tier of the ranking system. Few Boobists will ever achieve this ranking, and those that reach this milestone are to be admired for their mastery of boobly wooblies and the principles of the Church of Boobism. Champions determine the course of the Church and act as generals in the event of a world disaster such as a massive, crazed mutant nipple or other such atrocity. Champions may also be referred to as Reverend.